As a youth I used to weep in butcher's shops.

The first time I saw this film I though it was the saddest thing I had ever seen. The closing scene in which Withnail quotes Hamlet made me cry

I have of late - but wherefore I know not - lost all my mirth; and indeed it goes so heavily with my disposition that this goodly frame, the earth, seems to me a sterile promontory, this most excellent canopy, the air, look you, this brave o'erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire, why, it appeareth nothing to me but a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours. What a piece of work is a man! How noble in reason! How infinite in faculties! How like an angel in apprehension. How like a god! The beauty of the world! The paragon of animals! And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Man delights not me: no, nor women neither. Nor women neither.

since then and after numerous viewing I have come to appreciate how funny this film really is.

W - Right, you fucker, I'm going to do the washing up!
M - No, no, you can't. It's impossible, I swear it. I've looked into it. Listen to me, listen to me! There are things in there, there's a tea-bag growing! You haven't slept in sixty hours, you're in no state to tackle it. Wait till the morning, we'll go in together.
W - This IS the morning. Stand aside!
M - You don't understand. I think there may be something alive.
W - What do you mean? a rat?
M - It's possible, it's possible.
W - Then the fucker will rue the day!

 

I want somethings flesh!

These aren't accidents! They're THROWING themselves into the road gladly! THROWING themselves into the road to escape all this hideousness! Throw yourself into the road, darling! You 

haven't got a chance! 

W - Are you the farmer? 

M- Shut up, I'll deal with this. 

W - We've gone on holiday by mistake. We're in this cottage here. Are you the farmer? 

M - Stop saying that Withnail, of course he's the fucking farmer! 

 

W - You'll be pleased to hear Monty's invited us for drinks. 

M - Balls to Monty. We're getting out. 

W - Balls to Monty? I've just spent an hour flattering the bugger! 

M - There's a man over there who doesn't like the perfume. The big one. Don't look, don't look! We're in danger, we've got to get out. 

W - What are you talking about? 

M - I've been called a ponce. 

W - What FUCKER said that? 

Irishman - I called him a ponce. And now I'm calling you one, PONCE! 

W - Would you like a drink? 

Irishman - What's your name, MacFuck? 

W -...I have a heart condition. I have a heart condition, if you hit me it's murder. 

Irishman - I'll murder the pair of yous! 

W - [Close to tears] My wife is having a baby! Listen, I don't know what my f... acquaintance did to upset you but it's nothing to do with me. I suggest you both go outside and discuss it sensibly, in the street.

M - What about whatshisname?
W - What about him?
M -Why don't you give him a call? 

W -What for? 

M - Ask him about his house. 

W - You want me to call whatshisname and ask him about his house? 

M - Why not? 

W - All right. What's his number? 

M - I've no idea. I've never met him. 

W - Well neither have I. What the fuck are you talking about? 

W - Withnail

M - Marwood